#1 humor site on the 'net

Muslim Wife

Sign of an unhappy Middle East marriage

Muslim Wife thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. - Julie Sorel

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Love is like an earthquake - unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are. - Unknown

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen. - Red Skelton

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. - Bertrand Russell

I was raised in a Baptist household, went to a Catholic church, lived in a Jewish neighborhood, and had the biggest crush on the Muslim girls from one neighborhood over. - Will Smith

Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." - Winston Churchill

A good marriage is like an incredible retirement fund. You put everything you have into it during your productive life, and over the years it turns from silver to gold to platinum. - Willard Scott

I deal with cultural issues whether they be in the Middle East, Far East, the Orient or the West. You broach questions in the context of their culture and then present Christian answers. - Ravi Zacharias

I was married once - in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad. - WC Fields

We who don't want radical Islam to spread must compete with the agents of radical Islam. I want to see what would happen if Christians, feminists and Enlightenment thinkers were to start proselytizing in the Muslim community. - Ayaan Hirsi Ali

My wife and I are affiliated with a temple here in Los Angeles. We feel very close to the congregation and to the rabbi, who happens to be my wife's cousin and who I admire greatly. I talk to him regularly but I consider myself more spiritual than religious. - Leonard Nimoy

Maybe sometimes we don't do the right thing because the wrong thing looks more dangerous, and we don't want to look scared, so we go and do the wrong thing just because it's dangerous. We're more concerned with not looking scared than with judging right. - Philip Pullman

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. - Fred Rogers

Here's a scary thought: What if God called you to give beyond your comfort level? Would you be afraid? Would you try to explain it away or dismiss it as impractical? And in the process, would you miss out on a harvest opportunity for which God had explicitly prospered you in the first place? - Andy Stanley


The Good Old Days

Towel Dog

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Battery Update

Russian Beach

How To Improve New Orleans

Drone Crossing

Air Guitar

Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts

Graduation Swag

U.S. Millionaires

How To Save NASA

Computer Travelers

Virtual Air Canada

Jockey Racing