#1 humor site on the 'net

Lost Luggage

Even statues need to beware of theft in the park

Lost Luggage thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

The man who fears losing has already lost. - George R.R. Martin

When everything is lost, anything is possible. - Robert Inman

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Every hour of lost time is a chance of future misfortune. - Napoleon

If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route. - Joan Littlewood

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Many friends have been lost by jest, but few have been gained. - Unknown

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

No opportunity is ever lost. Someone else seizes the ones you missed. - Unknown

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

The worst bankrupt in the world is the man who has lost his enthusiasm. - H.W. Arnold

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

I am not so lost in lexicography as to forget that words are the daughters of earth. - Samuel Johnson

Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

I think you could build a couple of humans with the amount of skin lost on the reef at Pipe. - Martin Potter

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

Madness is loving the unsolvable puzzle of your soul and replacing the lost pieces with my own. - Shannon L. Alder

But she was going to beat - she was favored to win - and she got schlonged, she lost, I mean she lost. - Donald Trump

To a man of pleasure every moment appears to be lost, which partakes not of the vivacity of amusement. - Joseph Addison

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Never pay attention to what critics say. Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic. - Jean Sibelius

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin


Saskatchewan Mansion

Make America Grate Again

Flower Basket

Donkey Cart

Music Note Chairlift

Thanks For Noticing

Winter Cyclist

No-Lake Picture

Morning Coffee Break

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Sign Crime

Royal Family Scrutiny

Bringing It Home

Secret Revealed

Women Pro Golfers

Alternative To Spanking

Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results

Ruling On Criticism