#1 humor site on the 'net

Long Yellow Things

For lack of a better word...

Long Yellow Things thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

'Banana Belt' - an expression used to mean a warmer area (since bananas like a warm climate)

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Banana Peel: A golden slipper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Yoga: Yellow-coloured center portion of a yegg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yellow Pages: Inferior knight's assistants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

The road to the City of Emeralds is paved with yellow brick. - L. Frank Baum

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. - Pablo Picasso

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." - Claude Pepper


White Out

Ultimate PC Home Entertainment Center

Long Rowboat

Gift Shop for Stray Kids

GPS Marriage Proposal

Hand-Some Baby

Joined Workout

Looking The Part

Redneck Candle

Redneck Plumbing

Flat Spare Tire

Ink Birds

Man Of The House

Ukrainian Model T

Sunshine State

Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed