Long Liquor Store

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

Mugging: Stealing someone's coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda