Long Liquor Store

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda