#1 humor site on the 'net

Long Liquor Store

Cold Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer Sales - Long line specialists

Long Liquor Store thanks to Keith Blake

Attention to long lines is their specialty

QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque