#1 humor site on the 'net

Long Bore Gun

Before the era of concealed handguns

Long Bore Gun thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Texas has the longest and biggest guns in the world

QuotaBills
Never argue with a woman, a winner, or a weapon. - Frank Dane

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

A good archer is known not by his arrows but by his aim. - Thomas Fuller

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Many people aim at nothing - and hit it with remarkable precision. - Unknown

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success. - Anna Pavlova

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something. - Muhammad Iqbal

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim. - George Santayana

Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it. - Omar N. Bradley

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

It is better to aim at perfection and miss it than to aim at imperfection and hit it. - Thomas Watson

A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. - Margaret Thatcher

Praise is the weapon God gives you to leverage the negative circumstances of your life. - David Evans

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. - George Orwell

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. - David Frost

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

No weapon has ever settled a moral problem. It can impose a solution but it cannot guarantee it to be a just one. - Ernest Hemingway

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is Reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall. - Thomas Paine

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

You've probably got a device on you that can shoot decent video, so what's stopping you? Capture and share some moments. - Steve Garfield

In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high. - Henry David Thoreau

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. - Michelangelo Buonarroti


Before Twitter

Drink And Drive Directions

Just Divorced

Romance Lost

Lowe's Holes

Geeks On Display

Smores Level Expert

Saskatchewan Freeway

Lost Cat

Trudeau Masterpiece

Circumcision

Vegan Wisdom

Sharp Sign

Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing