London Eiffel Tower

No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

I like the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas more than the actual one. - David LaChapelle

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin