#1 humor site on the 'net

Krispy Kreme Waffles

How to flatten doughnut calories

Krispy Kreme Waffles thanks to Grace Branson

Your last binge before going on a diet

Bubba goes on a Donut Diet
QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love you more than donuts. - Unknown

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Donuts - is there anything they can't do? - Homer Simpson

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm just a person standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut. - Unknown

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller


Bread Zeppelin

Special Second Meal

Perfect Grill

Heat Expands

Drink, Don't Drive!

Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Chicago Politics

BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bookstore Entrance

Computer Detergent

Covid-Friendly Smoker Hood

Ethiopian Math

Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road