Kid Suction

I like children - fried. - WC Fields

I am fond of children - except boys. - Lewis Carroll

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be. - Carol Coats

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

Nature reserves the right to inflict upon her children the most terrifying jests. - Thornton Wilder

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

Children are not a distraction for more important work. They are the most important work. - C S Lewis

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. - C S Lewis

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Our society is walking through a maze of cultural land mines and the heaviest price is exacted as we send our children on ahead. - Ravi Zacharias

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. - Alex Haley

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The heart of who I am as a person and as a man is forgiveness, after forgiving my father for a lot of things that were done when I was a child. - Tyler Perry