#1 humor site on the 'net

Kid Disposal

Cleaning out the Gene pool in Chinatown

Kid Disposal thanks to Keith Blake

Little Johnny becomes the take-out meal

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen. - Deep Roy

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

When nature is my inspiration and subject, I am witness to an extraordinary range of color and every imaginable atmospheric condition. - Karen Casey

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Staff Teeth

Media Bondage

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Sports Hernias

Low Expectation Autographs

The Moist Wet Territories

Cat Doormat

Redneck Foosball

Shining Stars

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery