Keep The Han in Hanukkah

Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

Good Anakin. Good. Kill him. Kill him now. - Chancellor Palpatine

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

I only have two passions: space exploration and hip hop. - Buzz Aldrin

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman