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Keep The Han in Hanukkah

The Force Awakens for Jewish Star Wars fans

Keep The Han in Hanukkah thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Star Wars Christmas present

QuotaBills
Off-the-docks Jews (Orthodox Jews) - Archie Bunker

Highway: The space between billboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I don't think anyone has been slandered more than the Jews. - Fidel Castro

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

It is sheer laziness not compressing thought into a reasonable space. - Winston Churchill

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO

Every year during their High Holy Days, the Jewish community reminds us all of our need for repentance and forgiveness. - Billy Graham

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

The really wonderful thing that happened to me when I was in space was this feeling of belonging to the entire universe. - Mae Jemison

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It

Wouldn't want to scratch that fancy bed liner

Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks