#1 humor site on the 'net

Jaws Baby Feeder

Sharknado Bassinets are popular with Rednecks

Jaws Baby Feeder thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Jethro couldn't understand why baby kept crying at the end of the movie

QuotaBills
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do my very best to avoid shark fin. - Anthony Bourdain

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Charity is not like feeding pigeons in the square. It is a process that requires professional management. - Roman Abramovich

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It