#1 humor site on the 'net

Icehenge

An English place waiting for global warming

Icehenge thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Head Cold: Rheum service - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

People who take cold baths never have rheumatism, but they have cold baths. - American Proverb

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

A teacher who is attempting to teach without inspiring the pupil with a desire to learn is hammering on cold iron. - Horace Mann

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway