#1 humor site on the 'net

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Pond hockey with a weak goal line crease

Ice Hockey Meltdown thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Back in the days of real hockey

QuotaBills
Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

Where beams of imagination play,
The memory's soft figures melt away. - Alexander Pope

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Real love is a humble receptivity of a silent heart that is prepared to melt and merge. - Banani Ray

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe. - Homer

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture