I Shoot People!

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

No warning can save a people determined to grow suddenly rich. - Lord Overstone

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. - Dale Carnegie

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher. - Oprah Winfrey

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. - H.H. Munro

I got nothin' against mankind. It's people I can't stand. - Archie Bunker

I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella. - Gary Delaney

My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's. - Oscar Wilde

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. - Unknown

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Never worry about criticism from people you would never take advice from. - Unknown

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners. - Albert Camus

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. - Groucho Marx

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Integrity is telling myself the truth. Honesty is telling the truth to other people. - Spencer Johnson

The beauty is that people often come here for the stretch, and leave with a lot more. - Liza Ciano

Every time you walk down the street people are screaming, "You're fired!" - Donald Trump

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a great, great company. I employ thousands of people. And I'm very proud of the job I did. - Donald Trump

The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is the knack of getting along with people. - Theodore Roosevelt

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? - Jacques Plante

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes. It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt. - Judith Olney

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Successful people are not those who do not fail. They are those who fail more than anyone, and simply refuse to accept it as the conclusion. - Unknown

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright