How To Steal An Election

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics, a lie unanswered becomes truth within 24 hours. - Willie Brown

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

To deceive a diplomat speak the truth, he has no experience with it. - Greek Proverb

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. - Bernard Baruch

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing but a supply of toothpicks. - Douglas Jerrold

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov