Horning in on Christmas

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway