Horning in on Christmas

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be. - Fred Bear

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway