Horning in on Christmas

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be. - Fred Bear

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway