#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Bagel

Latest in Israel cuisine - Kosher bagels

Holy Bagel thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Pocket Change

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell