#1 humor site on the 'net

Green Mood Fly

Where to find mood swings in China

Green Mood Fly thanks to Roy Turkington

Letting fly with careful scenery

QuotaBills
Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoot folly as it flies. - Alexander Pope

Reoriented: Sent back to China - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A closed mouth catches no flies. - French Proverb

A kite only flies if it's tethered. - Victor Robert Lee

The common people swarm like summer flies. - William Shakespeare

Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Unknown

Laws, like spider webs, catch flies and let hawks go free. - Spanish Proverb

In our rushing, bulls in china shops, we break our own lives. - Ann Voskamp

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time. - David Coleman

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies. - Ronnie Corbett

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies?
There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. - Groucho Marx

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy


Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank

Corset Bound

Hillbilly Overalls

Fitness On The Bus

The Original Smart Phone