Golf Like I Do

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump