#1 humor site on the 'net

Go Winterized

Stop and Go on winter roads

Go Winterized thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci


Antler Field

Moon Football

Bike Rack

Straight From The Cow

Surf-In Lunch Snack

Lateral Thinking

Da Hood Shirt

Quiet Place To Study

No Beatle Haircuts

Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator

Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy

Cow Camouflage