QuotaBillsChop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright
The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright