#1 humor site on the 'net

Glass Prescription

My Doctor says I need glasses

Glass Prescription thanks to Karen Moore

Ophthalmologist or Optometrist?

Optometrists are primary health providers for normal vision problems and yearly checkups. The position requires a Doctor of Optometry degree and a license, and allows the diagnosing for common vision acuity problems like farsightedness and nearsightedness, prescribing corrective eyeglasses, contact lenses, dispensing and prescription of certain medication, plus testing for eye diseases and conditions.

Ophthalmologists perform the same functions as optometrists, but are considered a higher position since they are medical doctors with Doctors of Medicine, or Doctors of Osteopathic Medicine degrees who specialize in the eyes and vision care. An ophthalmologist can diagnose and treat highly complicated eyes issues, can perform surgeries (i.e. Lasik and retinal damage repair), and work with specific cases in vision care. The main difference between the two eye-related careers is that an ophthalmologist can handle surgeries and other issues that require more training on the medical side.

A sommelier (or wine steward) is a trained wine professional, working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of wine service as well as wine and food pairing. The role is much more specialized and informed than that of a wine waiter: In fine dining today the role is strategically on a par with that of the executive chef or chef de cuisine. Most sommeliers are good friends of the Joe-kster.

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Cranberries: Grapes with hypertension - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

When the problem is worry, the prescription is prayer. - David Jeremiah

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Impotience: Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nurses dispense comfort, compassion, and caring without even a prescription. - Val Saintsbury

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish

New Brunswick Swimming Pools

Box Car

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Meep Meep

German Emergency Road Share

Bus Stop

Tell Me Why You Can't Work

The Last Photo I Took

Saskatchewan Harley

Secret Passage

PLZSTOP

Why Wear A Safety Helmet?