Girlfriend Math

Money doesn't talk, it swears. - Bob Dylan

There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Business, that's easily defined - it's other people's money. - Peter F Drucker

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

I'm proud to be paying taxes. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

No one has yet had the courage to memorialize his wealth on his tombstone. A dollar mark would not look well there. - Corra May Harris

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin