#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Gas

Have you got the Runza?

Free Gas thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Free gas with bowl of chili

QuotaBills
Thank God for a few free waves. - Miki Dora

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. - Thomas Jefferson

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. - Robert Frost

I was born a slave, but nature gave me a soul of a free man. - Toussaint Louverture

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free. - Eckhart Tolle

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge. - Groucho Marx

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

No one has put forward a plan to make this country entirely debt free as we enter the next millenium. - Donald Trump

Sometimes I feel like a normal person. Sometimes I forget I'm on parole, that I'm not really free. - Jennifer Lane

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him. - John F Kennedy

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Cut out the free feed for the boss hogs at the public trough and the spill-over they've been leaving us. We'll manage. - Paul Harvey

One should be free to give the fullest expression to his disaffection so long as he does not contemplate, promote, or incite violence. - Mohandas Gandhi


Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait