#1 humor site on the 'net

Force Field

It appears to be working...

Force Field thanks to Raylene Lawson

Predicting the Probability of Tornadoes and Hurricanes

QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

Fog is just clouds that have fell down. - Unknown

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. - Robert Redford

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. - Buddha

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything. - C S Lewis

I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismograph. - Ken Kesey

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears. - Indian Proverb

Conductor: The musician most likely to get struck by lightning - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

A rainbow is the product of physics working for your appreciation of beauty. - Kyle Hill

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The same hot lightning that burns your blood with passion–– cools your fears with peace. - Aberjhani

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. - Don Marquis

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. - Mark Twain

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. - Mark Twain

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. - Mark Twain

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez

The spirit is smothered, as it were, by ignorance, but so soon as ignorance is destroyed, spirit shines forth, like the sun when released from clouds. - Sankara


She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races

Bed Equalizer

David's Return To Italy

Sick Pumpkin

Winning An Argument With A Woman

Why Dogs Bite Their Owners

Barcode Eyelashes

Howloween

Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot