#1 humor site on the 'net

Foot Radish

Vegetarian footprints

Foot Radish thanks to Miriam Bauer

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

In life as in dance: Grace glides on blistered feet. - Alice Abrams

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade. - Dolly Parton

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet. - James Oppenheim

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, be sure the future would not stand it. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

You can't sweep other people off their feet if you can't be swept off your own. - Clarence Day

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace. - Isaiah 52:7

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night. - Steven Wright

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years. - Prince Philip

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies