#1 humor site on the 'net

Food Inflation

Raisin' grapes on the farm

Food Inflation thanks to Nicola Oakley

Fruitarian - one who only eats things that have fallen from a tree and are in fact already dead

QuotaBills
Beulah, peel me a grape. - Mae West

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. - Jonathan S Foer

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

We're really just the frosting on a cake and we don't know what's inside the cake. - Adam Riess

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


Hardtail Bike

Redneck Adjustable Shower

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

OCD Guy

Garage Add-on

Cow Vacation

ChristMoose Tree

Pilot Prop Job

Crow Species

Lawn Mirror

Fishing Addiction

Hairy Potter

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip