Fill The Tank

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Lily Tomlin

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly