#1 humor site on the 'net

Enjoy Fresh Air

Where to find clean air in China

Enjoy Fresh Air thanks to Roy Turkington

Looking forward to a restroom break

QuotaBills
Through enjoyment we endure. - Florence Ditlow

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. - John Lennon

Life is better with fresh baked cookies. - Unknown

Oppression can only survive through silence. - Armen de Monteflores

Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. - Chinese Proverb

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. - Hans Christian Andersen

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? - George Carlin

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it. - Joseph Heller

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. - Suraj Sharma

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

It is impossible to enjoy idling unless there is plenty of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world. - Joseph Addison

The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much. - William Hazlitt

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. - Imbesi's Law of Conservation of Filth

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. - Oscar Wilde

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. - Joseph Campbell

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. - H L Mencken

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. - Russell Baker

Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change. - Bertrand Russell

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow. - Unknown

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

I think people should have fun. And don't get so down on yourself. Enjoy life and be the best person you can be. - Keke Palmer

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

Life is like a good watermelon, sweet and juicy... but you still have to pick out the seeds to enjoy every bit of it. - Unknown

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

When you arrive where you thought you wanted to be, you'll just begin a new journey so enjoy each step along the way. - Wayne Dyer

Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit? - The Simpsons

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. - Unknown

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. - Mark Twain

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. - Joseph Addison

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault


Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two

Paint Pants

Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter