#1 humor site on the 'net

Empty Dogs

A guide about cleaning up after your dog

Empty Dogs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. - Malcolm Forbes

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable. - Simon Sinek

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Rock is so much fun. That's what it's all about - filling up the chest cavities and empty kneecaps and elbows. - Jimi Hendrix

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Grace fills empty spaces, but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void. - Simone Weil

Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors. - David Viscott

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Geeks On Display

Smores Level Expert

Saskatchewan Freeway

Lost Cat

Trudeau Masterpiece

Circumcision

Vegan Wisdom

Sharp Sign

Pulled You Over

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Leaf Edge

Windmill Guitar

Redneck Shave

Coffee Grinds

Legal Exhibit

Cattle Breeding

Study to Fail

Light Bulb

Lifeguard Distancing

Giant Grasshopper

Horse Hearse

Train Boat

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Canned Art