#1 humor site on the 'net

Empty Dogs

A guide about cleaning up after your dog

Empty Dogs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Hollow: An empty greeting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

Easy Chair: The hardest one to find empty. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

When one person is missing the whole world seems empty. - Pat Schweibert

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves. - Dwight L. Moody

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Life without idealism is empty indeed. We just hope or starve to death. - Pearl S. Buck

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. - Norman Vincent Peale

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles... it empties today of its strength. - Mary Englelbreit

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big. - George Carlin

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocket book groans more loudly than an empty stomach. - Franklin D Roosevelt

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable. - Simon Sinek

If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder. - John Scalzi

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Rock is so much fun. That's what it's all about - filling up the chest cavities and empty kneecaps and elbows. - Jimi Hendrix

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal