#1 humor site on the 'net

Driverless Mercedes

The future of travel?

Driverless Mercedes thanks to Rick Muir

Driverless cars face roadblocks, but you won't need a license

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. - Brian Chesky

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


ACME Pumpkin Carving

Future Therapy

Scary Pumpkin

Getting It To Work

Halloween Night 1914

Halloween Coffee

Halloween Cyclist

Florida Halloween

Halloween Beer Dispenser

Pupkin Carving

Spooky Halloween House

Halloween Clouds

Eye Do

Halloween Pit Bull

Halloween Birth

Broom Size

Hobbit Halloween

Halloween Pie

Just Two Buddies Hanging Out

Jewbacca

Colour Wheel

Halloween Driver Costume

Book Cover Pumpkin

Cabin Illusion