Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Double Parkers
When you park like a jerk, karma will get you
Double parking is illegally parking next to another vehicle that is properly parked in a stall or on the street. When you park this way, you prevent drivers from leaving their parking spaces and stall the flow of traffic. Karma will get you in the end!
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen
Keep calm and let Karma finish it. - Unknown
Karma yoga is a supreme secret indeed. - Bhagavad Gita
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. - Bill Murray
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen
Keep calm and let Karma finish it. - Unknown
Karma yoga is a supreme secret indeed. - Bhagavad Gita
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. - Bill Murray
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
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