#1 humor site on the 'net

Doormat Spy

Personalized doormat sales are looking up this year

Doormat Spy thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba installed his own home alarm system

QuotaBills
Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

What's the need of a home if you are never in it? - George Grossmith

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. - John E Pearce

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat the door down. - Unknown

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

The only ultimate disaster that can befall us is to feel ourselves at home on this earth. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Choosing forgiveness opens the door of your heart and makes way for a miracle in your life. - Victoria Osteen

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need. - Sarah B Breathnach

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. - Thomas Moore

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

The Bible tells us that Jesus Christ came to do three things. He came to have my past forgiven, you get a purpose for living and a home in Heaven - Rick Warren

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


Vatican Wall

Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man!

Modern Romance

T-Shirt Answer

Handbell Registration

Spamdex Pork Shorts

What's Your Blues Name?

Big Sister vs Big Brother

Growing Own Pot

Boat Tram

Duct Tape Wall Bed

Pilot Lounge

How Do You Like Your Steak?

Chopper Bike

Bed Bug

Truck Load

Wallusion

Soft Landing - Kowabunga, Dude!

Baby Hatching

Piglet Hubs

Hummers Only Look Tough

Lego Steps

SpaghettiOh Face

Cute Puppy