#1 humor site on the 'net

Doormat Spy

Personalized doormat sales are looking up this year

Doormat Spy thanks to Keith Blake

Bubba installed his own home alarm system

QuotaBills
Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door. - Emily Dickinson

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

The door on which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last. - C S Lewis

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway