QuotaBillsLet sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton
I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley
If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair