#1 humor site on the 'net

Diet Pills

Upside-down Weight Watcher plan

Diet Pills thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him. - Mignon McLaughlin

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

Ignorance is not so damnable as humbug, but when it prescribes pills it may happen to do more harm. - George Eilot

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden