Detroit Counterfeit Bill

God gave me my money. - John D Rockefeller

I cried all the way to the bank. - Liberace

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

Money is a great servant, but a poor master. - Francis Bacon

Prospering doesn't have to do with money. - Joel Osteen

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D Rockefeller

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that's poverty. - Joe E Lewis

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. - T Dewitt Talmage

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio. - Gerald R. Ford

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

More history is made by secret handshakes than by battles, bills, and proclamations. - John Barth

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Laughter is the mind's intonation. There are ways of laughing which have the sound of counterfeit coins. - Edmond de Goncourt

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. - J Paul Getty

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan