Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Too much money ain't enough money. - Lil Wayne

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. - Martin Scorsese

Money is a great servant, but a poor master. - Francis Bacon

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

When it comes to corruption, nothing succeeds like money. - American Proverb

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby. - Jewish Proverb

Dancing is like bank robbery - it takes split second timing. - Twyla Tharp

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Business, that's easily defined - it's other people's money. - Peter F Drucker

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

I don't think about financial success as the measurement of my success. - Christie Hefner

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. - Steven Wright

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into a job, and try to do the best you can, the money will come. - Lawrence Welk

No one has yet had the courage to memorialize his wealth on his tombstone. A dollar mark would not look well there. - Corra May Harris

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor