Cutting Edge Table

Measure a thousand times and cut once. - Turkish Proverb

Wherever I sit is the head of the table. - H.L. Mencken

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

At a round table there is no dispute about place. - Italian Proverb

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him. - Robert Byrne

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

What is drama after all, but life with the dull bits cut out. - Alfred Hitchcock

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. - Al Bernstein

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams

Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. - Groucho Marx

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

The greatest men have been those who have cut their way to success through difficulties. - F.W. Robertson

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. - George W. Bush

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand. - General Colin Powell

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak