#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Trampoline

Phyllis ruined it for everyone

Cow Trampoline thanks to Chet Miller

QuotaBills
Party honesty is party expediency. - Grover Cleveland

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Just keep hanging your steamers over there. You're the one who got me into this whole expensive party here. - Archie Bunker

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel


Royal Knit Wit

Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet