#1 humor site on the 'net

Cow Trampoline

Phyllis ruined it for everyone

Cow Trampoline thanks to Chet Miller

QuotaBills
In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Party honesty is party expediency. - Grover Cleveland

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

A party without cake is just a meeting. - Julia Child

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. - Unknown

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. - Sid Waddell

Content is the party. Promotion is the invitation to attend. - Nathan Ellering

Stable: A command given to make a male cow remain in one place - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party. - Groucho Marx

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Just keep hanging your steamers over there. You're the one who got me into this whole expensive party here. - Archie Bunker

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself