Cow Return

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

I'm suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration. - Archie Bunker

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Mexican marijuana, which he called the schoolboy's consolation. - James Purdy

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

She's not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I'm all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal? - Jarod Kintz

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit... unnatural? - Bill Hicks

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics... dope and all that crap. It's a thousand times better than whiskey - it's an assistant - a friend. - Louis Armstrong

The plan I am proposing today does not involve smoke and mirrors, phony numbers, financial gimmicks, or the usual economic chicanery you usually find in Disneyland-on-the-Potomac. - Donald Trump

The U.S. should legalize marijuana, tax it, and send all the proceeds to NASA. NASA would inspire kids to explore the universe and pot would inspire adults to explore the universe. - Carl Sagan

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower