#1 humor site on the 'net

Cool Reading Room

Finding a quiet place to read

Cool Reading Room thanks to Wayne Nowazek

My time in the spotlight

QuotaBills
Books don't need batteries. - Nadine Gordimer

Books are uniquely portable magic. - Stephen King

Keep cool; anger is not an argument. - Daniel Webster

There is no friend as loyal as a book. - Ernest Hemingway

The covers of this book are too far apart. - Ambrose Bierce

Reading can seriously damage your ignorance. - Unknown

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

We can close the books on infectious diseases. - William H Stewart

I lived in books more than I lived anywhere else. - Neil Gaiman

Preface: That part of a book which is never read. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

I wanna read ya something right out of the allamac. - Archie Bunker

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

No wonder the teacher knows so much - she has the book. - Edgar W Howe

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Arpeggio: The story book kid with the big nose that grows - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. - Steven Wright

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? - Jerry Seinfeld

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. - Thomas Beecham

I don't discriminate against sushi. It's all good in my book. - Billy Horschel

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes. - Agatha Christie

My problem with reading books is that I get distracted. By other books. - Unknown

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Mark Twain

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about. - Benjamin Franklin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

The person who won't read has no advantage over the person who can't. - Clifford Warren

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

Book Censor: A person who reads so much he gets asterisks in front of his eyes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met. - Oscar Wilde

I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right. - Billy Graham

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

All good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they had really happened. - Ernest Hemingway

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. - Arnold Palmer

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. - Francis Bacon

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. - George Burns

All the days ordained for me
Were written in your book
Before one of them came to be. - Psalms 139:16

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocket book groans more loudly than an empty stomach. - Franklin D Roosevelt

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamed that I was reading on, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Neine

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. - Bertrand Russell

My regular life today is reading books, making dolls houses, sewing dolls with my daughter and barbequing. - Milla Jovovich

If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. - Mark Twain

If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking. - Haruki Murakami

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

The best thing in the famous novels at present is that one does not need to read them; one knows them already. - Henry David Thoreau

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

When you read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before. - Clifton Fadiman

Devices are not dangerous for literature. People can be dangerous for literature. People, for example, who do not read. - Laszlo Krasznahorkai

You have to be cool under pressure. You have to be a strategist like chess, and you have to use geometry like billiards. - Bill McBride

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller

The best way to become a successful writer is to read good writing, remember it, and then forget where you remember it from. - Gene Fowler

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why aren't more gems from our great authors scattered over the country? Great books aren't within everybody's reach. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. - Gore Vidal

People share, read and generally engage more with any type of content when it's surfaced through friends and people they know and trust. - Malorie Lucich

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot


World Cup Elephant

Alternative To Spanking

That Takes Some Skill

The Ass Family

Kids Meal

Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk

A Foot Of Sun

Sushi Spine

Police Targeting

Happy Bird's Eye UU

Moose Parking

Glassman

Paint Pants

World Cup Attention Getter

Fear Of Light

Bird Condo

Very Cold Beer

Seniors Bike Club

Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me