Cook Ring

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle