#1 humor site on the 'net

Cook Ring

The wedding service was blessed with holy macaroni

Cook Ring thanks to Mabel Boskamp

Bubba expected fine dining the rest of his married days

QuotaBills
I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. - Steven Wright

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys. - Groundskeeper Willie

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? - Bertoit Brecht

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

It's diamonds in your pockets one week, macaroni and cheese the next. - Jolene Blalock

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


Bestist

Cement Truck Lane

Cane Swimmers

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bartender Spill

Angry Mathematician

Matching Receipt

Where Nobody Speeds

A Good Woman

Front Row Seats

Always Full Glass

Teople Poo

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Thrilling Read

Double Line Parking

New Audi

Romance Lost

Conversation Chair

Bird Person

Family Fun

Fence Sitter

Behind Curtain Number One

Canadian Moose Dog

Shear Dog