Cook Ring

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland