Cook Ring

Marry money. - Max Shulman

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? - Bertoit Brecht

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf