Cook Ring

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. - Steven Wright

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? - Bertoit Brecht

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland