Cook Ring

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker