Cook Ring

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller