Cook Ring

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? - Bertoit Brecht

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf