Christmas Sidecar

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller