QuotaBillsWhat is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain
A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life. - Robertson Davies
Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown
What's done to children, they will do to society. - Karl A Menninger
A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams
No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon
There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry
The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor
I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel
People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres
When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell
Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey
When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget
I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright
If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren
Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill
You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke
If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold
Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey