#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Igloo

Winter snow sculpture in Europe

Car Igloo thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The past is frozen and no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays. - C S Lewis

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream

Orca Siting

Ruling On Criticism

Photo Scratch

Yoda-Churchill

Cup of Mona Lisa

Bar Walker

Olympic Moon Rings

BTTF II Car

Pool Garden

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Wait For My Human