#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Igloo

Winter snow sculpture in Europe

Car Igloo thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart. - Eskimo Proverb

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The past is frozen and no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays. - C S Lewis

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy