#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

Canada's the best country in the world. - Justin Bieber

Theoretical physics is actually philosophy. - Max Born

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

In science there is only physics; all the rest is stamp collecting. - Lord Kelvin

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

If I look at the mass of people I will never act. If I look at the one, I will. - Mother Teresa

It would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. - Daniel Bernoulli

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

Probably no symbol in mathematics has evoked as much mystery, romanticism, misconception and human interest as the number pi. - William L Schaaf

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey


Holiday Fun

Sandwich Shoes

Fearless

Finally Got A Haircut

Fedorable Platypuses

Lego Sushi

Hedge Face

Computer Bread

Robbers Lives Matter

UnBralievable

Rubble Trouble

Pool Side

Hair Moan Therapy

Beachport

Warm Nap

Wall Parkade

Flood Games

Lean Two Friends

Bale Face

Bridge Weight Limits

Ikea Log Home

Chimney Sweep Challenge

Ernest Hemingway in 1923 at Age 24

Big Game Hunting in Saskatchewan