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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Mathematics has beauties of its own. - J.W.A. Young

A mass of men equals a mass of opinions. - Latin Proverb

Mathematics: the only subject that counts. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

In Canada, nobody is ever overthrown because nobody gives a damn. - Mordecai Richler

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

It is wrong to think that the task of physics is to find out how Nature is. Physics concerns what we say about Nature. - Niels Bohr

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. - Jon Stewart

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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