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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)
QuotaBills
Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Obvious: The most dangerous word in mathematics - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

It would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. - Daniel Bernoulli

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. - Unknown

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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