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Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math thanks to Jerry VanHorne

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the product of the mass and velocity of an object. In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

QuotaBills
Center Of Mass: The Priest - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. - Ernest Rutherford

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party. - Craig Ferguson

Changing mass consciousness is an individual responsibility. - Dennis Weaver

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

School Of Hard Knocks: Where they train door-to-door salesmen - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In science there is only physics; all the rest is stamp collecting. - Lord Kelvin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Academe: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

Puck: 1. A hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another; 2. Last week's left-over biscuit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


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