#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Growth Chart

Hockey is the national sport of Canada, eh

Canadian Growth Chart thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Canada first, Canada last, Canada always. - Wilfrid Laurier

Canada's the best country in the world. - Justin Bieber

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

A Canadian is somebody who can make love in a canoe. - Margaret Lally

Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. - Jack Layton

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


Drive-Thru Pharmacy

Childproof House

Mexico Gravestones

Chia Car

Drop Ceiling

Wheelbarrow Parking

Royal Isolation

Transformer Fire - 'Spreading' The Risk

Someone Who Cares

Skateboard Stairs

Pickup For Sale - Come Get It Quick (All Sales Final)

Safe Working Practices?

Foot Swim

Devil Sky

A Man Named Fred

Texas Wheel Mags

Redneck Combo Plumbing

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake