#1 humor site on the 'net

British Kingdom

The difference between Great Britain, the UK, and the British Isles

British Kingdom thanks to Bryan Harrap

How United is the United Kingdom?

QuotaBills
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

There's no map to human behaviour. - Bjork

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

My first occupation was to map the country. - John Hanning Speke

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

Ideologies do not map the complete living processes of a World. - William Irwin Thompson

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

I've never had a clear road map. When things come along, I benefit. - Greg Kinnear

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

The media landscape of the present day is a map in search of a territory. - J.G. Ballard

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it. - Steven Wright

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Maybe I'm a serial regional writer. First here, then there, across the map. - Richard Ford

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

True navigation begins in the human heart. It's the most important map of all. - Elizabeth K Lindsey

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. - Earl Nightingale

Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change. - Muhammad Ali

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Map out your future - but do it in pencil. The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip. - Jon Bon Jovi

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

A place that doesn't welcome tourists, that's really difficult and off the map, is a place I want to see. - Paul Theroux

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Our brain is mapping the world. Often that map is distorted, but it's a map with constant immediate sensory input. - E.O. Wilson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Sun Tan Sales

Ice Age Cake

Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt