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British Accountant

Catch 22: Hire an accountant or a mathematician?

British Accountant thanks to Bryan Harrap

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Everything is physics and math. - Katherine Johnson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy. - Garrison Keillor

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring. - Milton Berle

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

Habits are like financial capital - forming one today is an investment that will automatically give out returns for years to come. - Shawn Anchor

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Finance functions lose the potential to steer their organizations to success when they defer performance management to other functions. - Jack Alexander

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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