#1 humor site on the 'net

Bottle Sneakret

How to sneak a bottle into the concert

Bottle Sneakret thanks to Sandra Graber

Bottle Sneakret thanks to Sandra Graber

QuotaBills
The secret of life is in art. - Oscar Wilde

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Self-trust is the first secret of success. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. - Rob Cordry

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

Hard work has made it easy. That is my secret. That is why I win. - Nadia Comaneci

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Everyone has three lives: a public life; a private life; and a secret life. - Unknown

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. - Christian Dior

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. - Unknown

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. - Christopher D Morley

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The secret to living well and longer is: EAT half; WALK double; LAUGH triple; and LOVE without measure. - Unknown

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. - Pearl S Buck

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach. - Lin Yutang

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. - Joseph Addison

The secret of success is to be in harmony with existence, to be always calm to let each wave of life wash us a little farther up the shore. - Cyril Connolly

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. But you have to be efficient if you’re going to be lazy. - Shirley Conran


OCD Guy

Garage Add-on

Cow Vacation

ChristMoose Tree

Pilot Prop Job

Crow Species

Lawn Mirror

Fishing Addiction

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake