Big Tame Hunter

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

He who has no falcon must hunt with an owl. - Danish Proverb

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

Head Hunter: The person to see if you have lost your head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah